A coworker and I were discussing some issue and at one point I offered a complete non sequitur that gerbils will just get on the treadmill and run and run without any kind of prompting and so they never seem to gain weight. My coworker quipped, “Well, if you stuck me in a cage with just food and a treadmill, I’d have to get on it and start running just out of shear boredom! Now, if you put a little TV in the cage and showed gerbil movies, I imagine they’d gain weight, too.” That did it! Now I had to muse out loud, what kind of movies would gerbils watch? In a lightning round way, everyone in the office started offering movie titles. Here’s are just some of them:
Gerbil (The story of the first gerbil diagnosed with multiple personality disorder)
As the Gerbil Turns
Gerbil Trek
Wild Gerbils
G is for Gerbil
Dial G for Gerbil
Die Hard with a Gerbil
Dances with Gerbils
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Gerbil
Pretty Gerbil
Days of Our Gerbil
Throw Gerbil From the Train
Gerbilator (An automaton from the future travels back in time to kill the mother of the resistance leader)
Gerbilstock (A rock music marathon)
Romeo and Gerbil (A romantic tragedy)
The Running Gerbil (A gerbil wrongly accused of a crime must now run for his life as part of a twisted game show in the future)
CSI: Gerbil (A forensic team of gerbils search for tiny clues)
The Real Cage
The Gerbil who Came in from the cold
The Hunt For Red Gerbil
Gerbilgate
Voyage to the Bottom of the Gerbil
Gerbilville (An alien who looks like a normal gerbil grows up with superpowers in a small gerbil town)
Gerbiles (Hercules)
Gerbicus (Sparticus)
Honey, I Shrunk The Gerbil
10 Ways to Lose A Gerbil
Buffy the Gerbil Slayer
Gerbils Gone Wild
Gerbils in Space
A Tale of Two Gerbils
A Gerbil’s Tale
Aragerbil
Lord of the Gerbils
Harry Gerbil & the Salamander’s Stone
The Gerbil Who Loved Me
Dude, Where’s My Gerbil
An Officer and A Gerbil
Gerbil, Gerbil, Gerbil (The compelling World War II story of the largest sneak attack in American history)
A Gerbil Mind
Gerbil in the Water
All the President’s Gerbils
Dead Gerbils
Gerbilbusters
Tom Gerbil & Huckleberry Rat
Gerbilina (A tiny gerbil must grow up with giants)
Driving Miss Gerbil
Gerbils Down Under
The Little Gerbil
Sleeping Gerbil
Steel Gerbils
Attack of the 50 Foot Gerbil
I Dream of Gerbil
Gerbil, Warrior Princess (A kiwi gerbil with formidable fighting skills takes on monsters of mythic proportions)
Beverly Gerbils, 90210 (Teen gerbils with money)
Sliders: the Gerbil Edition (A team of gerbils find a gerbil wheel that takes them to parallel universes)
JAG (Judge Advocate Gerbils — Military Gerbils solve crimes with legal savvy)
My Favorite Gerbil (A gerbil from outer space …)
Film:
12 Things I Hate About My Gerbil
The 13th Gerbil
X-Gerbils (Gerbils with superpowers)
Gone With the Gerbil
Rear Gerbil (Hitchcock would be turning in his grave)
And now for some Gerbil Renaissance Theater…..
A Midsummer Night’s Gerbil
The Six Gerbils of Henry the VIII
Twelfth Gerbil
The Merry Gerbils of Windsor
A Gerbil of Two Masters
10 Little Gerbils
The Gerbil in White
Blythe Gerbil
Guys and Gerbils
Momma Gerbil
And last of all, in the mockumentary category …
March of the Gerbils
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Tomorrow … Movie Meetings Even Dilbert Would Attend
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